A tired dream

Sometimes I daydream about having a little store. I would have a store, a space, people would come, and that would be it. I wouldn't have to be anyone, be anywhere. In some ways this is idyllic – stress-free and sunny. But also, it's kinda sad because it is a dream about no longer trying. Or at least in comparison to trying as hard as I am now, to keep learning, growing, going. 

It's an ironic time to have this reflection because most people are feeling gung-ho and optimistic about the year ahead, starting new routines, fitness goals (I am on this train this year!), etc. But I also have to acknowledge how much dread I feel because of how this past year of coronavirus has been a string of tests of resilience and perseverance to unexpected changes and cancellations of plans.

"2021 will be a great one!", "A busy one!" – while I really would love for these to be true, I can't help but feel a bit heavy as I put on my 'trying' shoes again. But, maybe it'll wear off like the soreness from newly awakened muscles from a new work out routine (: